hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr
i’m that person who will literally stare at you the entire time we watch a tv show or movie to make sure you’re paying attention
- I really need to get some new friends
my favourite thing is when someone says “i think about you a lot” or “i had a dream about you” or “i was just about to text you” or something because the fact that i occur to someone when I’m not talking to them or anything is the best thing i just
it makes me uncomfortable that they dont shoot movie scenes in order
Shout out to all the religious kids who keep their beliefs to themselves in the middle of science class.
shout out also to the atheists who don’t shit on everyone else’s beliefs “because science”
shout out to everyone who is respectful about everyone elses beliefs
shout out to potatoes.
hey there delilah what’s it like in new york city i’m a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do
i installed a camera in your room
i’m watching you
- regular people in the shower: wash, rince and repeat
- me in the shower: accepting award
- me in the shower: pretending i'm filming for a shampoo commercial
- me in the shower: pretending i'm in a scene of my favourite tv show
- me in the shower: life problems
- me in the shower: ellen is pulling a prank on me
- me in the shower: showing off my mad singing skills and sexiness to the crowd of fans that isn't really there.
would u rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??
whats a matter baby
nothing sweetie whats a matter with you??
i hate when you’re not in the same mood as your friend like when you want to slay your enemies and feast on their flesh and your friend wants to dance in a field of daisies and sing for the sake of singing like no stop that grab a pitchfork